One Year

Not only does tomorrow bring a special event such as my younger brother's big 40th birthday celebration, but also marks the one year anniversary of an event that changed mine and my family's life. It was May 26, 2008 and I was shopping at West 49 in the mall with my 10 year old son. It was our first time making a purchase in that store and my son was pretty proud and excited with his new hoodie and checkered running shoes. I was at the till making the purchase when I got the call on my cell phone. My husband was on the other line. He called my name and then was silent. I then realized he was crying and told me 'they found something'. It was a brain tumour 4-6 cm in size and from that day on, our lives had changed.

I remember the first week and how traumatic it was. We were scared and worried for ourselves and for our boys. We had so many questions....why, how, what..... We talked to the surgeon and asked lots of questions. I started studying & researching the brain and the different types of tumours in the brain, came home with loads of library books. They kept him in the hospital and he had a successful surgery 10 days later. They did the biopsy and determined it was a Grade 2 Oglioastrocytoma. Technically they considered it benign but was a type of tumour that would keep growing. A month and half later, he started 33 radiation treatments. Together we went everyday to the Cross, Monday to Friday for six weeks. I remember the first few visits to the Cross and my husband's inferior wall that would lock as soon as he would enter the building. He didn't want to be there and didn't want to say or hear the "C" word.

It was a difficult summer month after recovery of surgery and before the radiation treatments. My husband went through many emotions that month....fear, anger, anxiety, and sensitivity. I went through emotions as well....frustration, helplessness & lonlieness. After a few days, we started getting accustomed to our daily routine of going to the Cross. We started seeing the same people there every day, started talking to people and hearing their story. We connected with one special lady, Penny, who had the same type of tumour and similar story. We had her and her husband over for supper one day before her final treatment and shared what vitamin and supplements Bob was taking. It made us feel good to share and offer the knowledge of what we were taking to help her and her husband out. She was a soft spoken lady and was told she had five years with her treatments.

After a couple weeks of radiation, Bob's hair started falling out in clumps on both sides. He had told the boys that if he lost his hair, he would shave his head and do a fundraiser. So that he did. I never felt so proud when Nicholas told me that he and his brother would do the same and they did. My husband wrote a long email and sent it out to our family & friends. One week later, an overwhelming amount of people flooded our driveway in support of his cause to pediatric cancer research and my boys were right by his side. We were overwhelmed with the support and together with our family and friends, we raised almost $7,000.00!!! How proud my husband and boys felt walking into the Cross Cancer office giving all that cash. We received so much overwhelming support.... daily telephone calls, prayers, emails, offers of all kinds, and meals upon meals. I didn't find out until much later that a lot of the meals had been formally organized and we were receiving meals on a weekly basis! People told me I may not have known, but that many, many people were praying for us. It was all overwhelming. We called the local paper and they interviewed us and published our fundraiser & story in the paper. Then, my cousin who was in charge of submitting stories for McDonalds in a family magazine requested if we would like to write our story so a couple months later, Bob's story was published.

By the time September rolled around and the radiation treatments were almost done, we started to feel like life was going back to normal. Bob continued running his September hockey camps (though he just stayed on the bench), gearing up for the kids' tryout evaluations. The Cross Cancer had approached us and offered caregivers & patients to take a mindfulness 8 week course so I took that on my own and enjoyed it. I learned to meditate daily and be more mindful & aware of my thoughts. At the same time, we went back to the Centre for Spiritual Living a couple of times during the summer (took our sister Terry) and remembered how good the Centre made us feel.

Everything was good and then the beginning of November my Aunt had passed away. She had lung cancer and it had spread to her brain. She had only 6 months from the time of her diagnosis, but she was a fighter and had tremendous strength. It was a hard time for Bob finding the strength to support Evelyn while he was dealing with his own, but he always admired her & teased her. The next day Bob had a severe abdominal attack. I took him to the clinic and he was then taken by ambulance to the hospital. Morphine helped and seven hours later the pain was gone. It appears it could have been sludge in the kidney causing the pain. The whole month of November was a tough one again. He had been totally white and exhausted for a whole month and a half. He had another attack in December but this time not so severe and he bounced back quite well the next day.

The Christmas season came and we felt a little different. Bob had mentioned one day before Christmas that he was thinking of buying Sony surround speakers. With the change in our income and disability payments, I had been diligently keeping up with our finances the past couple of months and working on our strict monthly budget. The same day Bob calls me on the cell phone and tells me he has a surprise. He meets me at the Arena and takes me to the side. He calmly but excitedly tells me that we could have a buyer for our Beaumont house, and that he found a surprise envelope in our mailbox. It was addressed to the Carpenters with $200.00 cash! What a surprise! Again we felt totally overwhelmed and blessed with the support we had received. At first there were thoughts of putting this money towards the speakers, but then we discussed it with the kids and felt we were managing the finances so felt we should pay it forward. We went shopping at Walmart and filled our cart with toys & took it to the fire station. We went to Superstore and bought a cart full and donated it to the Food Bank. Then we ended with a visit to the Mustard Seed downtown and donated some cash. We felt humbled & gratitude for all we had received and wanted to pay it forward. A few days later we found another surprise in our mailbox.....a Christmas card addressed from one homeschooling family to another and one hundred dollars cash! Again, we felt totally humbled. The day after Christmas our family along with Grandma and Ken, went to the Sacred Heart Church downtown and served the homeless. It was a humbling and eye opening experience. The boys did great and we were proud of their willingness to help and their friendliness towards the people. It was a meaningful Christmas and we were grateful.

Bob had an MRI in December (which was the first one since the radiation) and in early January we saw our family doctor for the results. Bob was feeling good and felt hopeful & positive that we would hear good results. However, it was a big shock and disappointment. The tumour had grown. He had another MRI in January, and again it appeared that the tumour had grown even from December to January. Bob was feeling letdown for a couple of days and a little despondent for a couple of weeks. We saw the oncologist and chemo was the next suggested treatment.

On January 28th, 2009 he had an appointment with Grant Derkatz who does live blood analysis. From that day on, we have never felt more energized, hopeful and in control. Grant helped us with diet changes and supplements and we feel positive we are headed in the right direction.

It's been FIVE months that Bob has been on the diet. He has basically stuck with the alkaline and candida diet. He has eliminated all sweeteners, most grains, dairy, red meat, yeast, fermented foods & mould. He is basically eating veggies, lentils & beans, reduced fish, chicken & turkey and ancient grains. We sprout on a daily basis, & are learning to incorporate seaweed into our diet. We make our own crackers from the ancient grains (amaranth, quinoa, buckwheat) or make raw flaxseed crackers. We purchased a water ionizer and he drinks about 3 litres of alkaline water everyday. It has been hard work and a totally new lifestyle to eating, but we know he is getting healthy and he's feeling great.

In addition to the diet, Bob has made great strides in his attitude & spirituality. He went to a water ionizer presentation and was totally pumped. He did lots of research every night seeking what he could do to help fight this. He connected with a hockey parent and she connected him with some energy healing work. Bob went for that and was told that he needs to let his mind relax. At about that time, I decided to take a course at the Centre. A few weeks later another course was starting and I wanted Bob to take that. It was called "Meditation from the Seven Masters" and it did a world of wonder for him. He connected with the group of people and met some Reiki masters who did some work on him. From there he went to another Reiki healing circle and felt energized. He did lots of work and transformed his mind into a peaceful state. He started praying and repeating affirmations and was receiving lots of support.

At the end of April, he had another MRI and this time the results were more positive. The tumour had not grown, and appeared to be slightly smaller! It was excellent news and Bob stood up and immediately gave the doctor a long hug. He was so esctatic!

We are absolutely grateful for the all the positives in our life and for all the people that have supported us in so many different ways. We have so much to pay forward and want to help others in the same situations.